Single gals, I am sure you can relate to what I am about to say so here goes:. I thought I would feel embarrassed if and when random people or close friends saw me on a dating app; I didn't.

Cut to: My mother met a friend's-friend's-sister who met someone online it was that indirect and when she heard that, she persuaded me — after MANY calls and emails — to try it. So I swiped and swiped again. In three weeks, I went on a date almost every night. Some nights, I would double book! Then I met Erik. After summing up my life in three sentences and finding a picture that represented me, I had finally swiped correctly.

Erik is kind, honest, funny and puts family first: he has three beautiful children whom I adore. It took dating someone like him to make me see that I had been dating the wrong men and was looking for the wrong thing. I had this unrealistic expectation of "perfection" when in reality, life is a little messy and we all come with our own set of baggage. My parents just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary on Feb.

We were both lucky enough to grow up in households filled with love, support and tons of laughter which our parents say is a huge part of the recipe for success and we both emulate our parents' relationships and joke that in 50 years we will be celebrating and just as in love as they are.

I was hesitant to share such a personal story, but if I can inspire one person to take the leap to do something out of his or her comfort zone, it will be worth it. So dive in and let me know how it goes! Remember, it only takes one. I think there is a stigma at least I was hesitant at first to sign-up about online dating.

Since I met my boyfriend, I have put at least a dozen of my friends online — but it took a little nudging. Be brave and take a chance. There are different sites geared towards different goals. If you are newly single and looking to mingle, there is a site for you. If you know you want to be in a serious relationship, there are sites geared towards that.

If a faith-based relationship is important to you, if you want to get married or remarried , if you are just looking to have a good time, SAY IT. If you eventually want kids, SAY IT — or you will run into issues later on. Make sure your profile truly represents you. Use the best pictures of yourself, but make sure they look like you now, not you 20 years ago. Be who you are and let others fall for the person you are and the interests you have.

I have heard such nightmares about people who connected online with someone who looked totally different than the pictures posted. You never know what fun, quirky hobbies somebody might share with you. I suggest not posting any sexy or revealing pictures on your profile page. Anything that shows your personality or interests works, and smiling pics are always best!

For your first three dates, keep it positive. Wait to share your war stories and see if you can simply have fun together. My parents have been married for 50 years this month and they say laughter is one of the key ingredients in the potion to success. Don't use overly filtered photos or photos of your trip to Italy when you visited there seven years ago.

As corny as it sounds, be yourself—not a polished online version, but your actual genuine self. A mistake many people make while online dating is outright inventing new personas when creating dating profiles.

For example, if you've never gone hiking in your life, don't say you like to do it on your dating profile simply because it seems that everyone else has included it in theirs.

Unless you plan to keep your relationships entirely online, remember that you will eventually meet the people you're talking to, or at least that's what most dating app users expect. And, what if your respective match proposes a hike for a meet-up activity, noting that it's something you both have in common? Don't back yourself into a corner, and stay authentic.

With how much fakery exists online, most dating app users are looking for real people, so be one. Plus, most people have learned to spot the fake profiles lurking on dating apps.

Given how easy it's become to find people online with a few keystrokes, decide how much you're willing to share before even creating your profile. Protecting your privacy while online dating is crucial. Don't upload images that show easily trackable information, like a landmark seen from your balcony indicating where you live; or a photo of you with a name tag showing your place of employment. Unfortunately, there are a lot of creeps online, so be wary of what you share.

Not to mention the dating app scammers just looking for the right opportunity to strike and swindle you. Don't be afraid of talking to multiple people on multiple apps simultaneously. Matching with someone on a dating app is not the same as being in a committed relationship with them. You're free to talk to multiple people at the same time. Maintaining several conversations at once means if one match turns out to be a flop, you haven't wasted days, weeks, or months only giving them your attention.

It's a great way to weed your matches. If you're on a dating app, you're bound to face rejection, so learn to accept it and move on with no fuss. You're not going to fit everyone's preferences, so there will be days when you won't have new matches.

Some conversations may reach a point where they stall, and it's not uncommon to get ghosted by your matches out of the blue. Rejection is part of offline and online dating, so the sooner you accept it as a normal and expected part of your app experience, the better. A simple search online will uncover countless dating experts that offer up tons of rules about online dating.

There's advice on everything, starting from creating the right profile and using the right images to the best opening lines for starting a conversation, and so on. You don't need 'expert' advice, though, because here's the thing: although many of these supposed experts make some good points, you don't have to take their words as law.

For example, many experts admonish people who share funny images intended to make you laugh on their dating app profiles, claiming it shows you don't have serious intentions. But if you're a funny person who likes to joke around and make people laugh, those images will attract a person with the same sense of humor who likes to laugh. And, isn't that the point? To show your true self and find someone who finds that attractive? Online dating is a constant back and forth with people exchanging information about themselves, what they're looking for in a partner, their hopes for the future, etc.

And since the conversation happens through a screen, many people lose their inhibitions and sometimes ask inappropriate questions or become too pushy. Always remember that you don't have to share information if you're not comfortable doing so. You also don't owe your matches a meet-up, a call or anything else unless it feels right to you. Don't let anyone push you where you're not ready to go and do things at your own pace.

As with offline dating, online dating takes time.

I met the love of my life online. If you asked me a decade ago if I thought I would ever write that sentence I would have thought you were nuts. But things change, people change, I changed. And then, it happened. After endless dates, failed relationships and many tears I decided after much nudging from my mother to try online dating.

I was hesitant at first for many reasons. Single gals, I am sure you can relate to what I am about to say so here goes:. I thought I would feel embarrassed if and when random people or close friends saw me on a dating app; I didn't.

Cut to: My mother met a friend's-friend's-sister who met someone online it was that indirect and when she heard that, she persuaded me — after MANY calls and emails — to try it.

So I swiped and swiped again. In three weeks, I went on a date almost every night. Some nights, I would double book! Then I met Erik. After summing up my life in three sentences and finding a picture that represented me, I had finally swiped correctly.

Erik is kind, honest, funny and puts family first: he has three beautiful children whom I adore. It took dating someone like him to make me see that I had been dating the wrong men and was looking for the wrong thing. I had this unrealistic expectation of "perfection" when in reality, life is a little messy and we all come with our own set of baggage.

My parents just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary on Feb. We were both lucky enough to grow up in households filled with love, support and tons of laughter which our parents say is a huge part of the recipe for success and we both emulate our parents' relationships and joke that in 50 years we will be celebrating and just as in love as they are. I was hesitant to share such a personal story, but if I can inspire one person to take the leap to do something out of his or her comfort zone, it will be worth it.

So dive in and let me know how it goes! Remember, it only takes one. I think there is a stigma at least I was hesitant at first to sign-up about online dating. Since I met my boyfriend, I have put at least a dozen of my friends online — but it took a little nudging. Be brave and take a chance. There are different sites geared towards different goals. If you are newly single and looking to mingle, there is a site for you.

If you know you want to be in a serious relationship, there are sites geared towards that. If a faith-based relationship is important to you, if you want to get married or remarried , if you are just looking to have a good time, SAY IT. If you eventually want kids, SAY IT — or you will run into issues later on.

Make sure your profile truly represents you. Use the best pictures of yourself, but make sure they look like you now, not you 20 years ago. Be who you are and let others fall for the person you are and the interests you have. I have heard such nightmares about people who connected online with someone who looked totally different than the pictures posted. You never know what fun, quirky hobbies somebody might share with you. I suggest not posting any sexy or revealing pictures on your profile page.

Anything that shows your personality or interests works, and smiling pics are always best! For your first three dates, keep it positive. Wait to share your war stories and see if you can simply have fun together. My parents have been married for 50 years this month and they say laughter is one of the key ingredients in the potion to success. Most importantly, do not talk about exes, good or bad, because if you hit it off there will be plenty of time to share. It's a numbers game. Going online is no substitute to going out, but you can dramatically improve your odds of success by doing a little work ahead of time.

If a picture comes up and you are leaning towards a "no," but your interests match up — GO FOR IT. You only need to meet one person who could change your life forever. You never know where or when it will happen!

I suggest not over-texting or over-talking before you actually meet. Some people are amazing on text and then lack chemistry in person. Keep the chat short before meeting for the first time and I suggest you do a quick call instead of lots of back and forth electronically. With text and email, someone has time to be witty and think about their response, but one brief call can give you a quick read on someone before you meet.

The first date should only be drinks or coffee, never a meal. You should be able to get in and out in 20 minutes. If there is a back and forth, wait a few hours to respond and keep the interaction fun and light. Live your life, and if it is right, it will work out. I truly believe that. Jill Martin is a TODAY contributor and style expert. IE 11 is not supported. For an optimal experience visit our site on another browser.

SKIP TO CONTENT. Today Logo. Share this —. Search Today Search. Follow today. More Brands NBC News Logo MSNBC Logo. Facebook Pinterest Email SMS Print Whatsapp Reddit Pocket Flipboard Twitter Linkedin. Online dating tips: Jill Martin's advice to anyone looking for love Feb. How singles over age 40 feel about dating in a digital world Dec.

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It's one of the first serious questions people ask on dating apps, and sometimes you have to answer it while creating the profile itself. You're not going to fit everyone's preferences, so there will be days when you won't have new matches. Working off the previous point, you must know what you're looking for in a relationship before you join any dating apps. Today Logo. Share this —.

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